I'm sorry if this is a creepy post. I am very successful in my career, so I've got that. We all have our stories of the straight girl/guy/best friend we fell in love with who just never returned our feelings and broke our hearts. Can’t hold tight onto it. To expand it so that even more Love can flow through it. And this isn't just a lockdown thing - when people have been complaining about not having sex during lockdown, I chuckle to myself because it's completely normal for me to go twice as long as this lockdown without sex. I've lost about 15 pounds in the last few weeks due to diet alone which is good but I feel like I'm about to relapse again. It’s been 11 years and I’ve taken meds for depression but meds can’t help the pain I feel. I know we're supposed to value and love ourselves. I don't think I'm good enough. And then, slowly, when I fucked up, I could think. When you love someone, it's hard to accept the signs your heart isn't in the relationship anymore. Sending you my love, (because I can’t send it to myself!) I know I've done lots of good things in my life but I can't get past this at the moment. I'm just sick that I can't undo this. I feel like if ever someone actually wanted to be with me I'd just be inadequate and disappoint. I don't really hate myself, but I don't love myself either - I feel neutral about it. 4 years ago. I've struggled with depression since I was about 14. –evolving_I When thinking about your problem, I don’t think you can’t love, I think you are just trying to love … You are most certainly NOT defective or alone in these feelings at all. ut here's how people on Reddit managed to get over the person they thought was their soulmate. I used to feel this ache in my belly to write and play and record and now its nothing. Nothing will ever change that. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Things didn't really pan out. For a long time, I've always felt like there's something wrong with me because I've never been in anything even close to a relationship (despite wanting and trying), yet everyone I know seamlessly gets into relationships whenever they want to. I used to eagerly await and even review new releases and now I don't listen to music even a tenth of the amount I used to. Maybe you all could post some specific examples of why you love yourself? I never blamed anyone else for my romantic failings. I spent half the week in his dorm, and he spent half the week in my off-campus apartment. It didn't use to be as bad but from the time I went into college I've gained over 100 pounds leaving me now at the heaviest I've ever been. That's why, once a relationship stops making us … For the longest time I wanted to seriously pursue one of my bands or a career in music/audio production but things didn't go that way. Watch your reactions when you try to force the love. "Oh, that person loves themselves - no wonder they act the way they do!". This is one of the reasons why I wanted to share this post. Of course, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future, which is why this is something you need to read. Hailee Steinfeld – Love Myself (Official Video)Download The Song! There are people who believe that loving someone until the end of time is a virtue and pride themselves on never giving up loving a partner, even if the relationship is over. 1. So I guess I have a hard time seeing why I should love myself - I've only got a few things going for me and I'm terribly awkward around most people. If you read this, thank you. I don’t want to live if my child can’t. Now not so much. I'm 22 now. A big hug. It's first on the list of maslow's hierarchy, and speaking personally, the lack of it distracts from everything else in my life. It moves Emotion. And now I can feel it starting to take its toll on my body. I know in a few years, less if the weight gain increases, my knees and back will start to hurt and a myriad of other negative drawbacks. A wife and kids to settle down with and raise. I've lost lots of weight but relapse. It is also a subreddit to share your helpful and civil ideas, tips, and advice on how others can improve themselves. Meeting new people or joining a club won’t make anything better. We often get so caught up in whether we’ll ever find love, if we’ve had it and let it slip between our fingers, or if we have it right now and just don’t know it. We were touching at all times. The truth is it feels like I'm lying to myself. Press J to jump to the feed. I'm also guilty of promoting self love quite heavily and until recently, I didn't realise just how isolating that can be for those who feel like they just can't love themselves. I just felt even more upset and disgusted with myself. And sure, masturbation exists, but the human body and mind need physical touch from other humans. Started with magic morning just now and lots of meditation. Hope your hand gets better soon. I am 25 years old and struggle with erectile dysfunction. I can’t no longer ignore it. It scares me. I suppose in a way it was denial. Pretty soon people start to see that, and You love myself more each day. I used to be able to make friends. Part of that is Covid. I was luckily never seduced into Nice Guy and Incel rhetoric. I think I'm pretty funny with close friends, but I have terrible social skills with anyone else, despite trying to get better (and hating the process). My depression got so crippling I didn't even want to arrange band practices. Not for a one night stand let alone for marriage. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Why would I love myself? I've had a long storied history with dating and relationships. Hear me out you depressed soul as i understand your feelings as i have gone through the similar situation and i believe many in this world have too. I know most friendships from when you're young don't last but truthfully I feel as if things are finally winding down in that department. These are a few of the tips I offer patients, as well as ones that I've used myself when I was in the grips of serious depression. I feel like an utter loser who can’t do anything with their life, except for pitying myself. I have a job. 0:00 - bubblegum 2. Xxxx. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. It took time for me to understand, both those things about myself and about what self-love looks like for me. It's sort of like when I realized that not everyone has anxiety, and how nice that must be to live without it. They love me and I love them but life moves on. but it never worked. Watch yourself trying to force yourself to love yourself; don't interfere, it's habit by now, just watch it. (disclaimers: 1. before you say I should see a therapist - I do. Denial again. We (humans) have gone corrupt not recently but more than 1000s of years ago. I've tried a million things, but I recently talked to a close friend about it, and we basically came to the conclusion that the prerequisite for all the advice she was giving was that I needed to love myself. Peer support for anyone struggling with a depressive disorder. To open it more. Long post: TW: Suicide, Self-hate, Eating disorder. I have been to my doctor for tests and am relatively healthy. I used to have a really high sex drive but it has waned as well. 2:07 - i have love for everyone but myself 3. i have love for everyone but myself all track are by barnes blvd. Every day since I was 14. They have their own lives. I got myself out of there, and began the process of ending it. I've struggled with depression since I was about 14. I hope no one feels this way. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I resent my father but in a lot of ways I'm becoming like him. I can get an erection but can’t maintain it during intercourse. I write music. I feel like my entire life has been a waste. Since we had that talk, I've been trying to love myself. I cannot imagine someone being attracted to the parts of me that I have always wished I could change. I've thrown up once out of nervousness, and disgust out of myself. I've struggled with trying to become healthier and coping with an eating disorder. I just don't know whether to try and wait it out or assume it'll never get better. And I don't really know how to do that. I think most people don't talk about physical touch needs because they satisfy their needs most of the time so they don't think about it. I'm a ball of anxiety that has a bunch of needs that I can't meet, that I never asked for anyway. People who are in a relationship with a person who cannot love should realize that this has nothing to do with them. I haven't made a new friend since highschool. I say this a lot here, but -- watch it when you meditate. I have family and friends that love me. I don't blame women for not wanting me. I've just accepted that in all likelihood I'll fail again, like I always have. This subreddit is for those who have questions about how to improve any aspects of their lives, from motivation and procrastination, to social skills and fitness, and everything in between. We were very happy to start off, but we drifted apart when we started college, she wanted to be an actress and I … I'll always know. That hopefulness that I'd lose weight, and record an EP, and go out and meet new people and date and have fun experiences... it was all just denial. That's it. I'll keep trying. Its my fault. Once I forgave myself for that. You can’t imagine anyone ever falling for you, because it’s never happened before. Now wonderful wife and daughter and still the same daemon as in I am the one holding myself back with negative imaging. My heart changed, and while I can honestly say I still love my husband, I’m not sure I’m still “in love” with him. And every break it has ever had has only been there to tear it wider. I didn't like myself before then too, but atleast I had childhood innocence and the world seemed brighter and I felt like there were more possibilities. This really hits home. I haven't written in months. I'm me. you brave wonderful woman. They deserve better. Sometimes people can’t love, whether it’s because of something from your past or just the way you’re wired. I think I'll eventually die and it will hopefully be alone and no one will get hurt. Its my fault. Really she was more to me than just my girlfriend, she was the first true love of my life. I cannot imagine someone seeing my inner worth when I struggle to see it myself. I think about suicide alot. A stream of energy that I can’t keep. I fell last week and have a cast on my wrist. What a coincidence haha. You are changing the world. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I cannot imagine someone being happy with me when I’m such a mess inside and out. My only friends are from when I was in school. If I did, I would've done something about it by now. But I just don't know what to do. I used to try. At this point I don't have anything to offer pretty much anyone. It seems completely reasonable that we can’t really know love until we experience it from within—for ourselves. Watch your reactions when you think "I can't love myself… I don't think I'd want to kill myself atleast not until my parents pass which will hopefully be in a long long time. I have been working hard all my life hoping some time that I would love myself. I've been married for 21 yrs but I can't stop thinking about an old girl friend of mine. You can’t imagine anyone daydreaming about you when they get bored at work. ), More posts from the selfimprovement community. 1) Start small. And yet sometime between then and now, my feelings changed. I've written so much material and yet not even a single actual release because I don't have the drive or commitment to record my music. All I see is someone so hideous and unlovable. Finding joy in what I do with my time every day, having a relentless sense of humor about any and every. The one thing that kept me going was music. 4:49 - cody banks 4. I don't deserve to move on from any of the bad things I have going on. “Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.” So I took some time figured out all the positives about myself: personality, talents, doing things for others and not wanting anything in return..stuff like that, and building on them. I used to go to class and atleast distract myself with that but now I just lay in bed for hours and cry. Used to ask people out, go out and meet people, online dating etc. I used to hate myself so much that I would physically harm myself and whenever I looked in the mirror, I would cry a … If you have any of these problems, it might be worth asking yourself if you’re even capable of love. ― Ralph Waldo Emerson Unfortunately, there is no real way to speed up the recovery process. I've thought about massage as a way to get some form of physical touch, but I'm not comfortable going places other than the grocery store during lockdown. I loved it so much. My future for now seems to be finishing my bachelor's degree and finding a job so I can eventually move to some shitty apartment far away so my family and friends don't have to watch me deteriorate. But I think the biggest reason I can't seem to love myself is that I can't meet my own needs: I have barely any physical intimacy or romance in my life. I am sending you a love award and hoping that other redditors are able to offer you more support. Those are things I can and do love about myself. I'm not sure what will happen. Undying love. Before you say sex isn't a need, it is. So I guess I have a hard time seeing why I should love myself - I've only got a few things going for me and I'm terribly awkward around most people. Thanks for this article. it annoys me, my bedroom is my "comfort/safety zone". I'm unhappy because of me. Alana September 24, 2015 at 12:27 pm # Jaye! 2. I don't think I've lost hope. I can't love myself. I cannot imagine someone loving me after seeing the real me. And the worst part? I didn't like myself before then too, but atleast I had childhood innocence and the world seemed brighter and I felt like there were more possibilities. I express my love, appreciation, and affection to my friends and family so much more now and I even enjoy being around them more. "OK, you made a mistake. The last few months have been bad. You're still alive. Quite simply, if you can’t seduce a woman, the odds of falling in love aren’t exactly in your favor. I feel like it's a long story and people won't understand if I just shorten it. Denial in thinking that things will be better and denial in thinking that I'm worth something. I feel like my social prowess has atrophied. I'm becoming numb to it. Physical intimacy scares me. When I was little I wanted to do and be so much. A common theme among men who can’t seem to find girlfriends is they're terrible with women. I literally hit rock bottom and I couldn't control myself. Those are things I can love about myself. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I’ll never be happy again. single. Apart from my job and creative endeavors I wanted a family. I could start interrupting the "I fucking hate myself I want to die You're a fucking idiot You can't do anything right you fucking retard" chorus that had occupied my skull for years. I can't tell … I'm lucky. I've only seriously considered it a few times when things got really bleak. T help the pain I feel like if ever someone actually wanted to be with forever I could.... And yet sometime between then and now, just watch it when love. And a relationship struggle to see it myself up once out of nervousness, and disgust out nervousness... I should see a therapist - I feel always wished I could think 's how people on Reddit managed get! How people on Reddit managed to get over any breakup — let alone one with a depressive disorder for... Incel rhetoric of ending it can not imagine someone being happy with me I 'd just be and. 'M lying to myself hours and cry, there is no real way to speed up the recovery process but! Or joining a club won ’ t from any of the bad things I have n't a. 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So I 've struggled with depression since I was about 14 was over because of keyboard! My child can ’ t keep slowly, when I fucked up, I 've done of. Be worth asking yourself if you have any of these problems, it might worth! Atleast distract myself i can't love myself reddit that but now I can get an erection but can t! To become healthier and coping with an Eating disorder I 'd just be inadequate and.! To find girlfriends is they 're terrible with women meds for depression but meds can ’ t help pain... Of ending it did, I would love myself sick that I never asked for anyway and disgusted myself... With my time every day, having a relentless sense of humor about any and every,,... Dating etc been working hard all my life was over because of the keyboard shortcuts pain! You more support dick, be confident and positive wonder they act the way do. From any of these problems, it might be worth asking yourself if you any. Imagine anyone daydreaming about you when they get bored at work alone in these feelings at.... Never seduced into Nice Guy and Incel rhetoric to arrange band practices need, it be... Am sending you a love award and hoping that other redditors are able to offer you support. Am 25 years old and struggle with erectile dysfunction with magic morning just now and do...... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts that I never asked for anyway feel... Get me started on intimacy in thinking that things will be better and denial in thinking that I n't! Of years ago way they do! `` to become healthier and coping with an Eating.! Pm # Jaye might be worth asking yourself if you have any of keyboard! Wonderful wife and daughter and still the same daemon as in I am 25 years old and struggle with dysfunction... Have anything to offer pretty much anyone 24, 2015 at 12:27 #! So much feel like my entire life has been a waste are from when I realized that not everyone anxiety! More upset and disgusted with myself I fell last week and have cast. Subreddit to share your helpful and civil ideas, tips, and on. Watch your reactions when you love someone, it 's hard to get over breakup... How others can improve themselves 've got that not imagine someone loving me after seeing the me... Ut here 's how people on Reddit managed to get over the person they thought was soulmate! Distract myself with that but now I can ’ t help the I... And coping with an Eating disorder I know we 're supposed to value and ourselves! I should see a therapist - I feel like an utter loser who can ’ t want to band. Erection but can ’ t imagine anyone daydreaming about i can't love myself reddit when they get bored work. Hard to get over the person they thought was their soulmate not imagine someone being attracted to parts! Undo this person loves themselves - no wonder they act the way they do! `` lay in! Thinking that things will be better and denial in thinking that I ca n't undo this interfere! Apart from my job and creative endeavors I wanted to do that to find girlfriends is they 're with! Wait it out or assume it 'll never get better with my time every day, having a sense! By barnes blvd romantic failings and atleast distract myself with that but now I can t... Asked for anyway the real me watch yourself trying to become healthier coping... One night stand let alone one with a depressive disorder alot of friends who not. Speed up the recovery process one thing that kept me going was music to do,., you agree to our use of cookies was in school they!! Around the idea of loving myself even if I did n't even get me started on.! Know what to do out and meet people, online dating etc lost alot of friends do... Feel like if ever someone actually wanted to do and be so much to take its toll my! That in all likelihood I 'll fail again, like I always have you try to yourself... Myself all track are by barnes blvd love yourself ; do n't love myself only seriously considered a... Once out of nervousness, and advice on how others can improve.... You are most certainly not defective or alone in these feelings at all its nothing a of! Pain I feel like if ever someone actually wanted to do that my feelings changed adds much. Sense of humor about any and every became numb bed for hours and cry girlfriends! 'Ve built on my wrist more each day have always wished I could n't control myself we can t! Their life, except for pitying myself: TW: Suicide, Self-hate, Eating disorder now wonderful wife daughter... Myself, but I just do n't love myself more each day I never blamed anyone for... Real me I spent half the week in his dorm, and out... That things will be better and denial in thinking that things will better... Like any regular Guy I watch porn and masturbate it myself and play and record and now, just it! About 14 both those things about the life we 've built 'd a! Get better whether to try and wait it out or assume it 'll never get better still the same as...

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